I got dianosed with ADHD because I was always losing my coffee.
It wasn't entirely because of the coffee. My mother was diagnosed a couple of years before I was, but it didn't occur to me that ADHD was behind the problems I was having. It wasn't until I saw the commercial that I put two and two together.
The commercial was about adult ADD - it was probably for Straterra. A woman was sitting on a couch in front of a tv, and the channels on the tv kept changing, but the woman couldn't stop on the channel she wanted to watch. The channels just kept on changing. This was how I felt all the time, how I'd felt my entire life.
But I did nothing. Until I started losing my coffee.
I think I was 26 when I got diagnosed (I'll be 30 in September). I was (and still am) a stay at home mother. I was fighting all the time with Frankie and snapping at my kids for seemingly small reasons that were incredibly frustrating to me. I had a hard enough time getting anything started - dishes, laundry, a shower, waking my kids up in time for school - let alone finishing anything. My house was a mess. I was a mess. I felt like a mess, and I felt like I couldn't do anything right. On top of this, I would lose my stupid coffee about 25 times a day.
You think I'm kidding, LOL.
I love coffee. (It makes sense - Ritalin is used to treat ADHD, Ritalin is a stimulant, caffiene is a stimulant, coffee has a lot of caffiene, coffee is YUMMY.) I drink about a pot of coffee a day. Back when I was 26, my friend Misty was still a stay at home mom, too. We would literally spend hours a day on the phone - each of us the other's connection to the world outside of potty chairs and macaroni and cheese lunches. It started as a joke, me losing my coffee all the time. We would laugh and Misty would help me find it - "Did you leave it in the microwave? Is it on top of the tv? Did you check the laudry room? Did you drink it already?" After a while, I got so frustrated. I couldn't seem to do anything right as it is, and on top if it, I can't find my frickin coffee again, and I JUST had it! I would get so mad I would just cry.
Finally, I went and got diagnosed.
Since then, I have learned a lot about my ADHD. I've also learned to appreciate it. All of the things I love about myself - my creativity, the different way I see things, my super-analyitcal powers (ha ha) and a lot of other things about myself that I consider my good qualities, I believe are rooted in my ADHD and see it as a gift. I have a lot of opinions about this, and ADHD as a "disorder", but I'll leave those out for now. But I've realized that I would not trade my ADHD for normalcy ever again. I enjoy being a fruitcake.
I have only realized this recently.
Last night, I was staying up late working on the ruffles of the sweater for the Amy Butler launch (have you searched SANDBOX boutique today?), and I noticed my coffee next to me and started laughing. All day yesterday, I was losing my coffee. Every time I would find my coffee, I was like "Oh! That's right! I have coffee! Yay!" It was like a new coffee surprise every hour or so.
It hit me like a happy brick in the head. (Okay, that doesn't make sense, but whatever). I honestly cried a couple of tears of happy self acceptance. It was like a little mini epiphany-like moment. The same thing that made me cry in frustration and self-hatred - "Where the hell is my coffee and why can't I just keep track of ONE stupid cup of coffee?!!!" - instead brought little moments of happiness throughout my day.
I've gone from a glass-half-empty kind of chick to a .... Oh! That's right! I have coffee! Yay!